The Elephant's Graveyard


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    Yes I love Elephant Jokes.

    They give us a true insight on life. My only wish is that I could teach a course at Yale on Elephant Jokes and their Philosophical Connection to the Meaning of Human Existence.

    As Steve Goodman said: "You can lead an Elephant to Watergate, but you can't make him remember anything."

    As Groucho Marx said:
    " Last night I shot an elelphant in my pajamas! How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know!"

    Do you ever wonder if cave men told mastadon jokes?


Elephant Jokes:

  1. Why did the Elephant where red sneakers?

  2. Why did the Elephant wear three white sneakers and one yellow sneaker?

  3. Why did the Elephant wear four differnt colored sneakers?

  4. How Can you tell when an Elephant has been in the ice box?

  5. How do you stop a charging Elephant?

  6. Why can't you get an Elephant to screw in a lightbulb.

  7. What is the difference between a dozen eggs and an Elephant?

  8. What the difference between a herd of Elephants and a bunch af grapes?

  9. What did Tarzan say when the Elephants charged?

  10. How do you get down from an Elephant?

  11. How do Elephants get out of trees?

  12. What's black and stuck between the toes of charging Elephants

  13. What do you call an Elephant that rides a bus?

  14. How does an elephant get down from a tree?

  15. Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ?

  16. What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ?

  17. Why do elephants wear sandals?

  18. Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?

  19. What did the peanut say to the elephant?

  20. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

  21. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

  22. Why did the third elephant fall from of the tree?

  23. Why did the fourth Elephant fall from the tree?

  24. How did the mouse become as big as an elephant?

  25. What's gray on the inside and red and white on the outside?

  26. Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmallow?

  27. What do you know when you see three Elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?

  28. What is gray and has four legs and a trunk?

  29. What do you call an Elephant with a machine gun?

  30. What do you call an Elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?

  31. Why do Elephants drink so much?

  32. What's gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow, gray, yellow?

  33. What's gray, yellow, gray, yellow,THUMP, grey, black, blue, grey, black, blue

  34. How do you get an Elephant into a VW?

  35. How can you tell if an Elephant is in the refrigerator?

  36. Why do ducks have flat feet?

  37. What did Jane say when she saw the charging Elephants?

  38. Why are crocodiles so long and flat?

  39. What do you get when you cross Elephants with peanut butter?

  40. Why do Elephants paint their toenails red?

  41. What do you get when you cross and elelphant with a rhinocerous?

  42. Why do Elephants have such large, tough feet?

  43. What's brown, gooey, smells like peanuts, but isn't peanut butter

  44. What's the difference between an Elephant and a piece of paper?

  45. How do you know if there's an Elephant in the ice cream shop?

  46. How do you know if there are two Elephants in the ice cream shop?

  47. How do you know if there are three Elephants in the ice cream shop?

  48. How do you make an Elephant float?

  49. Why are Elephants so wrinkled

  50. What time is it when an Elephant sits on your fence?

  51. What time is it when an Elephant sit on your sofa?

  52. What time is it when an Elephant sits on your toilet?

  53. Why do Elephants have trunks

  54. Where do find Elephants?

  55. What do you say when an Elephant sneezes?

  56. Why do Elephants hide in strawberry patches?

  57. How do you get four Elephants into a Volkswagen?

  58. How can you tell when an Elephant's been in your refrigerator?

  59. Why do Elephants have grey skin?

  60. What goes, Clomp, clomp, clomp, squish, clomp, clomp, clomp, squish?"

  61. Why did the Elephant lie in the middle of the road?

  62. What would happen if an Elephant sat in front of you at the movies?

  63. Why did the Elephant wear sunglasses?

  64. What is the biggest ant?

  65. What is as big as an Elephant, but doesn't weigh anything?

  66. How do you fit 5 Elephants in a Volkswagen?

  67. Why did they throw the Elephants out of the swimming pool?

  68. Why wasn't the Elephant allowed on the airplane?

  69. Why were the Elephants the last animals off the ark?

  70. Why do Elephants paint their toenails green?

  71. What would you get if you crossed two fish with two Elephants?

  72. Why do Elephants have crinkly feet?

  73. Why do Elephant cheerleaders never do the splits?

  74. Why did the Elephant cross the road?

  75. Why do Elephants have wrinkled knees?

  76. What should you do to a blue Elephant?

  77. What should you do to a red Elephant?

  78. What should you do to a yellow Elephant?

  79. What should you do to a white Elephant?

  80. What should you do to a green Elephant?

  81. How can you tell if an Elephant's been sleeping in your bed?

  82. How do you catch an Elephant?

  83. How did the blonde cheerleader die?

  84. How does an Elephant get out of a phone booth?

  85. Why don't Elephants ride bicycles?

  86. What weighs 5,000 lbs and wears glass slippers?

  87. What has 6 legs, 3 ears, 4 tusks, and 2 trunks?

  88. What is large and gray and goes around and around in circles?

  89. What do Elephants have that no other animals have?

  90. Why do Elephants stomp on people?

  91. What do Elephants do for laughs?

  92. What game do Elephants like to play most?

  93. What did the cat say to the Elephant?

  94. How do you hunt pink elephants?

  95. How do you hunt blue elephants?

  96. What was the elephant doing on the expressway?

  97. What was the monkey doing on the expressway?

  98. What did the cow say to the Elephant?

  99. How do pink elephants survive hunting season?

  100. What did the pig say to the elephant?

  101. Why was the elephant on the expressway to begin with?

  102. What's the difference between elephants and ice cream?


    Elephant Poetry!

    Hickory Dickory Dock,
    An elephant ran up the clock,
    The clock is being repaired.


    Two elephants - Harry & Faye
    Couldn't kiss with their trunks in the way
    So they boarded a plane
    They're now kissing in Maine
    Cause their trunks got sent to L.A.


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