I reserve all the rights and You can't have any. Well, actually I really don't give a rat's ass if you share this with any one or pass it around just so long as you give me credit for doing this. And please don't offend any of the contributors to this collection by leaving their name off of their drink.
My only request is if you get a copy of this Recipe book, please send me a post card from where you live or, if you are taking a trip to a tropical paradise, send me one from there. You don't have to I would just like you to. If you get the E-book from a friend of a friend of a friend, I would still like the post card. And finally if you do pass this e-book along be it in Electronic Text or Print form or on a disk, keep it in tact and to include the author and compilers name. Frankly I put a lot of work into this and I like it. I hope you like it also.
Jimmy Buffett does more than just sing songs. To be a Parrotthead involves a certain amount of "comportment". This recipe book is a soulful search for Ôwarm summer breezes, and French wines and cheese, its probing the question of "wonder why we ever go home' its a search for blame when we know "it our own damn fault" it's the belief that "if we weren't all crazy we would go insane" and it the realization that "some things are still a mystery while others our much too clear". Okay. So it's really just a collection of some really wild things that you might want to drink. When it comes to booze I'm a mad scientist. I like to mix and match and see what happens.
Don't be satisfied with any particular drink, break the rules and experiment. Double the triple-sec, add a dash of Amaretto or JaegerMeister, see what happens when you use grapefruit juice instead of Roses, try Captain Morgan's instead of Cuervo, Its your drink, take control of it.
Preset your CD player ahead of time and make sure you don't put pancakes in the drive unit. Don't drive when you drink this crap. If you do have to drive make sure it's with a golf club and no one else is on the golf court. They may be boat drinks but don't guzzle this shit and then try to operate a boat or go swimming. You'll wake up dead.
If you pass out from drinking this stuff don't pass out face up, you might choke on your own puke or, worse yet, someone else's puke. If you plan on taking drugs while drinking this shit, talk to your doctor first He'll ask you, "are you fucking nuts!?!" . If its illegal to drink this shit where you live then you know what you should do "Bribe the cop, change the law, or go somewhere where it is legal". If you are underage, what the hell are you doing, drinking this shit!!!
Some of these drinks involve the use of a blender. At no time should you place life forms other than those mentioned in the recipes in the blender, In other words don't put your friend's cat in a blender, it ruins the flavor of the drink. Do not put body parts in the blender either. It hurts like hell and the thrill wears off way too quick.
Void where prohibited; don't feed the animals; do not remove label under penalty of law; eat all the vegetables on your plate; wipe your feet before coming in the house and all you men lift the seat before pissing. Let's see, did I leave anything out? Oh Yeah...If you get fucked up from the recipes remember "IT IS YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT AND DON'T GO BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE FOR YOUR OWN STUPIDITY." Watch out for the pop tops!
BTW all my drinks were made with FREE RANGE, fruits vegetables and alcohol.
Hope you like it.
note: I can tell you a few things that are NOT boat drinks, however! These are some drinks that didn't quite make it to the boat drinks list
More BULLSHIT that may be important
a jigger is one and a half ounces
a pony is thee quarters of an ounce
a shot is one ounce.
a dash or splash is several drops (7-10)
SIMPLE SYRUP is made by adding 1/2 pound of granulated sugar to a cup of boiling water. Simple syrup can be substituted one for one for any measurement of granulated sugar. Beware if the drink calls for powdered sugar you should use powdered sugar. (To cut the simple sugar recipe down go for approximate 1 teaspoon of sugar for every teaspoon of water.)
COCONUT CREAM or MILK Lets set the record straight. This is NOT the liquid in the middle of a coconut. This is something you will need to process (or just go buy.) To make fresh coconut cream you need to scrape the meat from the inside of a coconut and mix the shredded coconut with hot water. Then strain this goop thorough cheesecloth or your favorite strainer. This liquid is Coconut cream or milk. It should be somewhat thick and gooey.
COCONUT CREAM ALTERNATIVE Here's an idea. Take the shredded innards of a coconut and put them in a blender or other such contraption. Next heat up some rum in the microwave or on the stove. (just get it hot you don't want to lose all the alcohol). Pour the hot rum over the coconut and hit the liquefy setting on your blender. Strain this stuff in the same way you would coconut milk. You now have some pretty potent coconut milk.
CRUSHED ICE Assume a scoop of crushed ice is about what you would get from your standard freezer tray of ice if you were to pound the shit out of it. Its easier to crush it in a good blender but more fun to do it with a hammer!
SHAKING AND STIRRING If the recipe says stir then stir. If it says shake then shake or blend. Fruit juices shake, carbonated drinks are stirred. Remember some times the way the drink is mixed is very important.
TWIST A twist of something requires twisting the fruit to get the juice in the drink. for a garnish use a wedge at least a 1/4 inch wide.
For the big mixes, one part of the drink will always be listed as "one part" all other parts will be listed mathematically so that you will have the proper proportion for a single serving. See the Yellow Bird drink for a good example of what I mean. It'll will become as clear as mud.
No I'm not a bartender. I'm a librarian.
Editors note. I've created a few drinks in my time just as many other folks have. Unfortunately I never got around to naming them. Well I've included some of them in this list. You'll immediately recognize them because they will have a Jimmy Buffett theme to their name (e.g. Expatriated American, Ragtop Day.) If someone forwarded a drink to me without giving it name, I took the liberty of giving it one unless I could find a record of the drink in one of my recipe books. Sorry if anyone is offended by this action. I tried to think of a song title that matched the drink.