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9 Stages of Buffett

This is kind of like the nine stages of drunkeness except it is the evolution of Buffett fans...

(does not necessarily apply to all fans, especially the rare bird that was listening to Buffett back in 1973 or so and has bought every album when it first came out. Let's face it most fans started with SYKBH these days.)

1. Jimmy Who...
Who the hell is Buffett, oh that guy who did (choose one)
(Spells Buffett with one "t")

2. Oh it's with two "t"
Buys Songs You Know by Heart because he heard that one song at a party Starts hearing all about the wild concerts and openly declares to the world that he/she is a parrot head. Goes out an buys that hawaiian shirt they wanted all their life, or at least since last week.

3. Look at me, I'm a parrot head.
Goes to a Jimmy Buffett concert and is amazed by all things parrothead. Loved the show but can't remember any of it thru the alcoholic haze.

4. One Particular Parrot
Decides they should buy a few more albums so that the old timers will stop laughing at them when Jimmy plays "One Particular Harbour" and he/she says that's a great song, I've never heard it.

5. Domino College
Buys the box set so they don't have to buy all the old albums. Still gets laughed at or ignored because they've never heard "Migration, Cowboy" you name it. The good news is s/he knows Fins well enough to move his/her hands the right way at the concert.

6. Buffett is God
Starts collecting the albums, buys a couple more hawaiian shirts, maybe even a coconut bra (men). Has two concert tees, and a subscription to the Coconut Telegraph. Suddenly has a burning need to find out all that is Buffett. Considers Buffett to be GOD, 'though they've never heard the song God's Own Drunk. Actually believes Buffett is a beach bum. Some people never get passed this stage...

7. Say it Ain't so Jimmy.
Is reading everything there is on Buffett and is getting a little disillusioned. They are closing their ears and screaming "say it ain't so" when people criticize their "hero". No one stays at this stage for very long They either punt and return to Stage 6 or move to Stage 8.

8. Screw Buffett...
Accuse Buffett of being a heretic Accuse him of selling out ... all the concerts sound the same...Screw Buffett This is also a dead end stage for many fans. Cancel subscription to CT, complains about concerts and new records and every other money grubbing venture Mr. Margaritaville is wrapped up it. Hates it when his/her non parrothead fans label him/her a parrot head.

9. My name is ...... and I listen to Buffett music.
Comes to the realization that Buffett is human, deals with it, with the help of other Buffett fans or some internal strength. And understands the myth and to some degree the man who created it. Can't buy anymore albums because they have them all, already. Enjoys the music for what its worth, which is why they bought it in the first place and ignore all the other bullshit as best as possible, without forsaking their own moral standards. You could say they sell out or accept what Buffett is.

Hey they can't all be funny.. but with luck this list has offended just about everyone equally.